he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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