i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
