What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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