She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
