He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
