I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
