I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
