She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
