You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
