Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You dont lie about slip and slides
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
