Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize