so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Can you bring me the toilet please
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
