using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
