I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
True strength comes from lack of pants
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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