Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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