Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ladies don't puke and tell
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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