If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This is the high leading the old right now
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
