I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
