Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
