I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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