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Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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