See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
