Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize