Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
