for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize