I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
