omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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