Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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