Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize