overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
