I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
