Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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