I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
