is wine microwaveable?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
