You're my little dorito
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
