we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
