i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
