After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Don't tell me you're on acid again
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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