I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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