My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
