What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
