An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Randomize
