OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
