What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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