we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize