You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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