Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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