I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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