Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
