waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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