Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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