Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
