Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
