It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
