Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
