no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
