I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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